Bizarro SEO: The 5 best ways to get banned

There are many, many techniques to improve search engine rankings. When approaching a subject like SEO, that is relatively complicated somewhat and confusing, and it is best to start with what not to do & work from there.

#5. Hidden Text & Keyword Stuffing

The rationale:

We can show the search engines a bunch of keywordy content and camouflage or hide it so that our users won’t have to be bothered with it!

How they will catch you:

Someone will tell you. At this point, there are just too many ways to hide text from users for the search engines to be able to detect it, so they rely on your competition to snitch on you and snitch they will.

#4. Cloaking

The rationale:

We can serve one version on our site to the search engines and a different version to users!

How they will catch you:

By comparing caches from different sources that they or other companies own or by using an algorithm to detect sites that are likely to be cloaking and having human reviewers verify the results.

Remember it’s not that serving different versions of the site is terrible, many sites do this in legitimate ways. What you’ll want to do to get your site banned is served a different version of your website to search engines with the intent to deceive them and users.

#3. Buy a Lot of Links

The rationale:

The more inbound links my site has, the more popular it is according to the search engines!

How they will catch you:

Buying too many links too quickly sends up a red flag. Linking is at the core of search engine algorithms, and they are very touchy about people trying to manipulate the system by buying massive amounts of links.

#2. Send Automated Queries

The rational:

Lets set up a script that will check our rankings for us and generate a report based on the results. Oh and maybe we’ll sell this script to other companies so they can keep track of their rankings too.

How they will catch you:

As long as you run the reports from the same server your website is on, you will be sure to consume server resources and anger the search engines.

#1. Be Evil

Dr. Evil

The rationale:

If we make it, so our website tries to mess with peoples computers by installing viruses, or Trojans, or do phishing attacks, we can sell the information we steal or use hijacked computers for our purposes.

How they will catch you:

Have you ever seen a listing in the search results that have a warning by it that says “this site could cause damage to your computer”? That is a site that has been identified by the search engines as a possible threat to your machine, if it is verified as such a site it will be banned.

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